Here I am having my last day, last class of the 2005-2006 school year. I sit here with a mixed blend of feelings. Part of me is sad go. Part of me breathes a sigh of relief to be done with the school year. Yet another part of me wonders what I will do to earn some extra money this summer.

I am hoping for a data entry job at home. Will I get it? Good question. The resume I sent looks very bad because it is from Word 97. Brillant! I guess someday I will learn. I am going to send them an edited resume and see what happens.

Sean is working on his job search finally! He is working 3 weeks at reserves or at least 2 so that will extend his unemployment time eligibility. He is doing his "reserves trip" here in Pittsburgh this year. At least I get to see him some that way.

His sister is coming up in June. I hope I get to go to the with him before she comes up. They are waiting for Clayton's graduation I think.

Well now the year's done!

Today I am reeling from things i learned yesterday. Pastor Hipple announced his resignation from Friendship after 17 years of being Pastor. He explained how the Lord had provided him with the new position that he has at US airways that allows him to work from home most of the time and how being our pastor has been a very good thing. Now he wants to start a work either in Delmont or Blairsville, he is leaning towards Delmont. He knows of no looming problems at Friendship. It came as a shock to most of the congregation. I think he is following the Lord's will but it's hard to imagine Friendship without the Hipples. I think it made Sean pretty sad. Which is sad, because he had been in a very upbeat mood during the morning. I'm glad he stayed for lunch. I can't imagine why he did considering he was planning to go with his sister to look at some dining room furniture that someone might give him. I'm glad that he heard it for himself rather than 2nd hand from someone else.

I've known Pastors leaving, he hasn't. So I think it makes it harder for him.

Last night, Sean called. It was a nice surprise to hear from him. He mostly wanted to talk about some possible job opportunities that he had heard about. He had a lady call from an insurance company, offering him a sales position and an interview on Tuesday..touting a 60 K paycheck. Then there were a bunch of jobs in Cambria County federal jobs in his field. He is applying for those jobs. The drive would be long, but the wages are 57 - 60000 so the drive might be worth it. We talked about a lot of other things. One thing that was interesting was that he seems to really want to go and see that Mission Impossible III movie with me. He was willing to leave Mike working at his place alone if he needed to, which honestly surprised me. I suggested he take his nephew because "it wouldn't kill me " to not see that particular movie. HMM..

I was praying this week about our relationship. We'll see what the Lord has in store for us.

Chase was basically sound today. It had been a year since I got to ride him and have him sound. Last year he started having trouble with abscesses, over and over. A significant chunk of his foot could have fallen away when it reached the ground but we managed to keep it trimmed and there was little problem with that. However in Jan he had another round with abscesses and they looked like little volcanoes had erupted along his cornet band for about 2 inches. So after he got over that the foot once again began to grow down. Thankfully it grows fast. Well now it has grown down to the point were in the next couple of months it will be at thr ground. Once again we are concerned that it will break out...and then he will be lame for quite sometime. It has developed into a hole that is a cup shape. So last Sat I filled it with Tigerhair Car Putty. It held all week even in the mud.! So I rode him and he was sound at the trot! Now I need to run him so that he is sound of mind! I keep putting Reducine on his cornet band hoping that it will cause more circulation to occur and more foot growth.

Last night, Sean called. It was a nice surprise to hear from him. He mostly wanted to talk about some possible job opportunities that he had heard about. He had a lady call from an insurance company, offering him a sales position and an interview on Tuesday..touting a 60 K paycheck. Then there were a bunch of jobs in Cambria County federal jobs in his field. He is applying for those jobs. The drive would be long, but the wages are 57 - 60000 so the drive might be worth it. We talked about a lot of other things. One thing that was interesting was that he seems to really want to go and see that Mission Impossible III movie with me. He was willing to leave Mike working at his place alone if he needed to, which honestly surprised me. I suggested he take his nephew because "it wouldn't kill me " to not see that particular movie. HMM..

I was praying this week about our relationship. We'll see what the Lord has in store for us.

Chase was basically sound today. It had been a year since I got to ride him and have him sound. Last year he started having trouble with abscesses, over and over. A significant chunk of his foot could have fallen away when it reached the ground but we managed to keep it trimmed and there was little problem with that. However in Jan he had another round with abscesses and they looked like little volcanoes had erupted along his cornet band for about 2 inches. So after he got over that the foot once again began to grow down. Thankfully it grows fast. Well now it has grown down to the point were in the next couple of months it will be at thr ground. Once again we are concerned that it will break out...and then he will be lame for quite sometime. It has developed into a hole that is a cup shape. So last Sat I filled it with Tigerhair Car Putty. It held all week even in the mud.! So I rode him and he was sound at the trot! Now I need to run him so that he is sound of mind! I keep putting Reducine on his cornet band hoping that it will cause more circulation to occur and more foot growth.

Last night was the closing program for AWANA. Barb had wanted the kids to memorize verses from John 10:1-15. Those were the Take It to Heart verses for this year about the good shepherd. She also wanted them to sing a song. Well then she made plans to not be there to practice with the kids in the weeks leading up to the program so she asked me to work something out. So I had them do the verses and before that to He Has Made Me Glad. So I practiced with the Kids. Last night I was very proud of them. They lined up in order. Sang the song with Brandon playing the piano. Then everybody said there verse in order by memory. The only exception was that Pete H didn't know the verse and read it off of a card (grrr) and Jon Golik said his verse before he was suppose to, but I managed to get him to correct that and let Max have his turn before him. Overall it was very nice!

Well I just got a call from Debbie M. She had all these wonderful things to tell me. She had a long talk with Pastor and Steve Eichelberger. Pastor prayed with her and gave her wise counsel that amounted to kick him out, he'll survive as long as you are supporting him he won't change. She said that when she went home she prayed and asked God to change A's heart about D. Then she went up and told David that she was disappointed in him that she couldn't pay her bills but he was living with them and not contributing anything and she told them that pastor wants to counsel with them as a couple so that they can see the difference between how they are acting in their relationship and how they should be conducting it. David didn't like that idea and go upset. Debbie went downstairs. Later Amanda came downstairs and told her mom that she had kicked him out. Debbie was very gracious to David and made sure he got to his mom's house and told him that she wanted him to stay off of drugs and to clean up his life. She said maybe then Amanda would feel differently about him. At Debbie's hearing the next day the public defender didn't show up. Debbie told them she just wanted to pay her bills and move on with life. They told her to pay her fine and her record would be clean. They want to go to church with me and I made an appointment to pick them up Sunday morning at 9:45. The Lord does answer prayer!

The ambivilance of my relationship with Sean is frustrating to me. I guess that whole Cdateing site got me started. I think I thought things were getting more serious but now have a whole lot more doubt. I'm really trying to trust the Lord, but man o man is it hard. Of course also the posting is now on the tip of my tongue..and I want to say something to him about it but know that would be a very big mistake. I too had postings up until december and I seriously wondr if the fact I had them and he knew it has damaged our relationship without me knowing it, because it certainly has messed with my mind now that I now it's the other way around. I know he's lonely..all I have to do is listen to him go on about that new dog. In my heart of hearts I want him to find the right person..even if it's someone else, but it's just hard to accept that it could be someone else. OK I'm a lovesick weenie! I admit it!

Well the last 2 nights I have had irregular but sufficient sleep. My cold is part of the problem. Also my head has been buzzing due to some anxieties I have been having regarding Sean, and regarding Debbie and her hearing today and her situation with David and Amanda. Yesterday she went to church with me after calling and asking me to pick her up Saturday. She told pastor her current problems and he prayed with her and told her to kick David out. She needs lots of prayer, which I have given for her and will continue to do.

I think I have 1 maybe 2 weeks left of giving computer class. I finished my paper over the weekend. Now I need to add a litte material and to edit it. I can't wait to finish this ordeal of Human Development. It looks like I am in solid B territory. Thank God but i was working for an A.

Suzanne called for Mother's Day last night. She and mom talked for quite a while. Then I talked to her and we had a nice talk. I told her I'm looking forward to seeing her and the new baby and reminded her that's it's been over a year since I 've seen them. She acutally sounded a little sad about that fact and she was trying to be very accurate with what she told me. :)

After I wrote my last blog. I got to thinking about some stuff I saw on Sean's computer. One was a line to a C Dating site. I made myself a profile and went in to look. He had a profile on there. photos and all. I guess he's looking. He was perfectly honest and it's a good profile. I'll just have to trust the Lord in all this. The last time he logged on was thursday. Hmm wed he asked me to the movies. But in the end I'm just a friend to him. What does it take for me to realize that? If the Lord thinks more is good he will provide. Meanwhile I pray that he will give me mercy, discretion and wisdom.

I did the same thing before Sean ever did and told hm about it and men I met through it, so I guess I get what I sowed. Who knows maybe he's ready to make some changes. Oh the creature of habit that he is. I just hope I can handle whatever comes up. With the Lord's help I guess I can.

Unbelievable! Wednesday I felt fine, by Thursday morning I had a cold. I felt yucky and the cold traveled all around my body until Friday when overnight it decided to live in my sinuses. It is still residing in my sinuses, but I do seem to be getting better.

So Sean asked me if I was interested in going to the movies this weekend Wednesday night, if Mike wasn't coming over...a caveat that didn't make me too happy. I told him yes that would be nice. Honestly I didn't think he was putting to much stock in the whole idea. So then later in the evening I said something about maybe he should put some priority on spending time with his faithful old friend Charlotte instead of always waiting on Mike to commit to things. He said that I was faithful...maybe we could do something during the week.

Anyway I figured that as most of our plans are it was a good intentioned vapor. So I talked to him on the phone later in the week and said well I'll see you Sunday. He said I plan to talk to Mike tomorrow then I'll let you know Thursday. Friday I called him to tell him about my new laser printer :) thinking about my laser printer makes me smile. He was happy for me and told me that he had spent the day with his Dad. His dad wasn't feeling well and spent most of the day sleeping rather than going to the hospital for his treatment. So Sean stayed at the house with him while he mom went and ran around. I guess his dad's chemo has made his feet all tingly and he has trouble walking around. All together it sounds like his Dad is weakening. Possibly dying in my opinion. So then we said good bye. A few hours later dad said I had a call..and it was Sean. He said he wouldn't be seeing Mike until Sunday and wanted to know if I wanted to go and see a movie Saturday. I agreed but told him I wasn't feeling to good so I might have to back out at the last minute. He said that was ok.

So I woke up this morning. After a not the most restful but not the worst sleep anyone has ever had and realized that I shouldn't go to the movies. I had the realization that with his dad so ill it's important not to expose Sean to more germs than necessary. I also realized that I wasn't even excited about going to see the movie because I feel so tired, sick and rundown. So I got up, took a shower, gave my remaining lesson away to Sherri and went to BP. When I got back I called Sean and told him that I wasn't feeling well and asked for a raincheck. He said that was ok it would probably be running for a while yet. I told him that I had a sinus headache, I'm still congested and that I am grumpy right now so I wouldn't make a good companion but that I did really want to go with him and that I wasn't even sure if I would make it to church tomorrow.

Then I spent the late morning messing with Chase. I brushed him and then cleaned out his feet. Then with mother's coaching I put Tiger hair fiberglass putty in his whole in his foot. I am hoping that support will make him more comfortable and sounder and that it will prevent his foot from just breaking off as that hole grows down towards the ground. I also put reducine on his cornet bands to encourage hoof growth.

I also played with Feather. I'm trying to get her to like me again. Ever since last Saturday when she got all bent out of shape when I was trying to lunge her after a lesson and she reared twice because she wanted to go back with the herd who was getting ready to lead. She has been acting weird when people try to handle her. So I buddied up to her while she was taking a nap. Then later I tried to catch her after she got up but she ran away from me. Later though she came back up to me while I was leaning on the gate. I gave her a carrot after a while. She seemed more relaxed around me.

Then I came in and fixed a beef stew in the crock put for tomorrow, mother's day. It is currently simmering in the crock pot. While I was cutting the carrots Debbie called to see if I wanted to take her to church. I said I would be happy to but I warned her about my cold. I also told her that I was missing the kids and hoped they would come to church please tell them. Debbie's hearing is monday regarding those unpaid bills that they had warrants out for her arrest on.

Sean's uncle Terry also has cancer-his dad's brother..colon cancer. Also sherri's step son in law has leukemia.

It's amazing how crazy my days seem. Today the school had a long lunch out eating a picnic in the parking lot. The day was lovely so I didn't mind going out and eating my lunch with them and meeting some of the parents.

I need to learn John 10:1-15 for tomorrow night. Ya right. I finished 8 pages of my 10 page paper last night. I gave up on rescuing my database and other data from my laptop. So I guess the Lord has other plans for the database. I do have an old version on the old computer.

Dai wants to make and distribute a music CD that a friend of his had made. He is suppose to send me some songs off of it for my opinion. I hope they did a quality job on the production. I think the only hope is to distribute it to Nagas in this country with the support the ministry mentality. I did find one place that I think might have reasonable prices.

That's all for now :)

It seems that I might be able to save some of my lost data. I am trying ot today. I am using a program called pc inspector file recovery version 4. David Schell has been very sweet about helping me. We worked on it yesterday at church. But the process was going to take too long so I got sent home to work on it. I am working on it now. Since I don't know the program I have made a lot of false starts but I am learning. I think this time I will suceed in saving some data. The one time the computer didn't have enough memeory to save the stuff for me. So now I am doing it in pieces.

I went to Sean's last night to get my Thumb drive so that I can transfer the data off of it to another computer so that I can view the data and then burn CDs of what I want. Mom wants me to rescue her jpgs. Which kind of stinks because there are so many on there. I am trying to rescue the database for the mailing list. It is the most critical thing.

I enjoyed spending some time with Sean last night. I actually stayed quite late, but we had a lot to catch up on. Lucky has decided I'm cool. She chose to sit next to me instead of him last night. Hehe. The St Bernard jumped out again this weekend Sean says. He was trying to see Lucky we think. I hope that pup doesn't get run over while it's loose in the future.

Feather needs major work. I rode her ok sat. But when I lunged her while the herd was getting ready to go she reared twice. :( I think she is in heat. She should be out soon. I think i need to keep a calandar for her training. I get frustrated working with her.

My paper about Teen Pregnancy is on it's fifth page. I need to keep at it.!!

I should be studying for test 4 right now. :( Looks like I"m gettinga B in this class.

Yesterday after school I went to Sean's. He was kind enough to let me connect his computer to my printer so that I could print all of my research out.

When I got there his car wasn't there. So I picked up the phone and gave him a call. It turned out he was on his way home and that he had a busy day. His mom had a flat tire, so he took his dad to the cancer clinic for treatment. He also tried to change her tire but it was on too tight due to the airtools used to install them and to the rust. So after the garage came and took the tire off Sean had to take the tire to be fixed.

So when he did get there I was studying my notecards. He said hi and went quickly into the house. I had my computer, my printer, and a a pair of jeans to bring in. So my hands were full as I went into the house. The dog was having a fit and he yelled down the steps for me to let the dog out. But my hands were full so I took the stuff upstairs first. He was on the phone and the dog was still barking. He asked why the dog wasn't out. I said let me put this stuff down and then I will take her out. So I put the stuff on the steps and tried to take her out. But she didn't want to come with me. She kept laying down and putting her head down. Then she started to come with me when I told her let's go outside for a walk. He came right after that and helped me take Lucky out.

He said that Lockheed had called and said that he had cashed pay checks that he shouldn't have and that they were going to send him to collections. However he mailed those checks back months ago. So of course that upset him a little.

After we took the dog out I set up my equipment and installed the software. He hung out with me most of the time that I worked. He was starving so he ordered Pizza from Johny's wife's place in Jeannette. It took me about an hour to print out my articles.

I sat in the living room with him and ate pizza. We always sit on the floor and eat from the coffee table. It was nice to relax with him.

Then we took the dog out again. This time the St. Bernards and the New Foundland dogs were out in the neighbor's fenced back yard. Sean really likes those 3. He said that I could go and pet them. So I went over and petted them. Then Lucky came over our direction. So we left to go back inside. All of a sudden Lucky got upset and then there was a St Bernard puppy running by us and sniffing her. Sean got Lucky back into the house and I kept trying to catch the puppy. But I couldn't get a hold of him he was too fast. Sean tried to open the gate but he couldn't. So i went and knocked on the door but no one was home. So as I came back down I got a hold of the pup, but he pulled me down onto the ground. So I got a hold of the choke chain part of the collar and the dog cried and rolled over on his back. I couldn't walk this pup, so Sean told me to let go. So I did. He got the gate open and the dog ran down to him. He opened the gate and the other dogs came down. So he ended up on the inside of the gate. lol. Then he saw a ball when the pup came back up he opened the gate and threw the ball. The pup seemed happy to run back into the yard and Sean shut the gate. The pup seemed like he wanted to take a nap after all that excitement! I officially do not want a St Bernard puppy ever..they need to get that dog some training for it's own good and safety.

When we went in Sean found that Lucky had pulled the pizza off the coffee table and it was upside down on the carpet. LOL! He was saying "Lucky did you do this? I wanted to eat that Pizza! Bad dog! You are in trouble!" as he cleaned it up. Then he made her look at it and yelled at her. Then she looked ashamed and kept hiding behind me and acting like she liked me! She is so amusing!

After that I went to Louise's for supper.

On Friday I messed up my computer. Saturday I discovered the problem of havign a missing file and not being able to get the desktop up. So I had to put the recovery disks in. Good bye data. I have tried to undelete the stuff, but to no avail. I've lost the new mailing list..I hardly even have a copy of our old mailing list. i do but it's soo out dated. I'm just glad to have what I do have.

I watched Chronicles of Narnia with Sean, Saturday night. It was good. We ordered food from Johny's Wife's Place. Their food is good. I got to meet the dog Lucky. She stays right with him and thinks he's the best thing in the world. We walked around his property with the dog and followed the stream down a couple of lots. He is very excited about owning his own 1 acre of God's green earth. He has lots of plans for the property like blacktopping the driveway, fixing the yard wall and planting flowers.

During the day, I rode Feather. I rode her for almost 2 hours. She was good in the lesson. Then we trail rode her with 2 horses. Abbie and mom went with Feather and Autumn. The first tiem around she was balky but she didn't do anything dangerous. The second time around she didn't want to leave the barn area as we turned to head back out. I did nothing to force her to go but she reared up a medium level rear. I didn't come close to falling but she was ready to do it again. I guess she thought I would make her go. So I guess I'm going to walk her out there for days and days and then I will have the opportunity to correct her for rearing or to teach her to walk away from the other horses. I blame it all on Earliville . Her mother Betsy is such a sweet heart that it's sad to see feather have these problems. I would prefer to leave her out to pasture but mother doesn't want to waste her. However I would prefer to not work with a rearing horse. I think she's salvagable but I having a horse I can't trust.